It's in the eyes they've always said reading people comes best
Sure body language is a given on just what's comin next
Yet when you can't touch or feel someone
Sit back empty out All thoughts close your eyes
And listen to that little voice inside that guides you to
Fate's promise of knowing wrong from right !
The first time I saw the look in his eyes and the way he bolted
At me grabbing me by the throat throwing me up against a wall
I knew in my heart of hearts I was in deep shit
As I had No one to call for help .
And only blamed myself for being to afraid to fight back
Who was I kidding , this guy had 4 years in the navy and 3 in the marines
Even if I hit him back just once , I knew he'd kill me
So I took the beatings for 2 years til I didn't care to be his
Human punching bag anymore . I got what clothes I could
Together and threw them in a garbage bag and headed out the door
To my German Shepard who was living in a big field with other dogs .
As I had no car , I got my dog while thunder & lightening
Crashed above up praying step by step walking in the rain
For god's mercy of not letting us die like this !
I still think about those moments as they're locked in the back of my head
Knowing its been almost 22 yrs now since I've known my freedom
And how it took me 5 yrs just to let a man stand even 3 feet close to
Me to say hi as I wanted a good running distance between us .
I still get the looks from people sometimes like I'm some sorta freak
Yet what you don't get is you can't judge a book by its cover unless
You've truly taken the time to read and understand
What it means to long to know what Love is yet still
To afraid to reach out and grab it with both hands saying
I never gave up hope because to me life needs people in it
That show you not everybody is heartless
And hugs sometimes can speak volumes when your scared to
Say those 3 magic words everybody else uses like there nothing .
Please always remember and never forget if you tell me
You love me and all I say is me to , I'm not being mean honest
It's just I'm afraid to say the words as I feel jinxed by them
However those I truly care for I send or give the biggest bear hugs
When I can as hugs are words that speak volumes .
Written 10/18/2012 By : Celeda Rein