It's in the eyes

It's in the eyes  they've always said  reading people comes best 

Sure body language is a given on just what's  comin next 

Yet when you can't touch or feel someone 

Sit back empty out All thoughts close your eyes 

And listen to that little voice inside that guides you to 

Fate's promise of knowing wrong from right ! 

The first time  I saw the look in his eyes  and the way he bolted  

At me grabbing me  by the throat throwing me up against a wall 

I knew in my heart of hearts I was in deep shit  

As I had No one to call for help . 

And only blamed myself  for being  to afraid to fight back 

Who was I kidding , this guy had 4 years in the navy and 3 in the marines 

Even if I hit him back just once , I knew he'd kill me 

So I took the beatings for 2 years til I didn't care to be his 

Human punching bag anymore . I got what clothes I could 

Together and threw them in a garbage bag and headed out the door 

To my German Shepard who was living in a big field with other dogs . 

As I had no car , I got my dog while thunder & lightening 

Crashed above up praying step by step walking in the rain 

For god's mercy of not letting us die like this ! 

I still think about those moments as they're locked in the back of my head 

Knowing its been almost  22 yrs now since I've known my freedom 

And how it took me 5 yrs just to let a man stand even 3 feet close to 

Me to say hi as I wanted a good running distance between us . 

I still get the looks from people sometimes like I'm some sorta freak 

Yet what you don't get is you can't judge a book by its cover unless 

You've truly taken the time to read and understand 

What it means to long to know what Love is yet still 

To afraid to reach out and grab it with both hands saying 

I never gave up hope because to me life needs people in it 

That show you not everybody is heartless 

And hugs sometimes can speak volumes when your scared to 

Say those 3 magic words everybody else uses like there nothing . 

Please always remember and never forget if you tell me 

You love me and all I say is me to , I'm not being mean honest 

It's just I'm afraid to say the words as I feel jinxed by them 

However those I truly care for I send or give the biggest bear hugs 

When I can as  hugs are words that speak volumes . 

Written 10/18/2012 By : Celeda Rein